Con Men 1, Tony 0

Today I saw examples of manipulation and courage, all courtesy of my "friend" Mogise and his sister.

As I mentioned in yesterday's posting, I had set up a meeting with Mogise's sister (Leticia) and brother for this afternoon. When she set this up, even though she was just a little intoxicated, I could tell something was up but had no idea if it was a need for more money, different items or what. I had arranged with Johanna to go with me, because language can be a real barrier and, often, a pretend barrier when people don't want me to understand something.

This morning I got a call from Mogise telling me not to come to the house, that his sister was still drunk from the weekend. He and his brother would come to the Centre at 3:00 to meet with me. I thought that was a little odd, but I don't know the family that well and it certainly could have been possible. So, Johanna and I were waiting at 3:00. Mogise came, alone. When I asked where his brother was, he said we must go to his aunt's house. Johanna and I were now very confused, but off we went. When we arrived at the aunt's house, he first told Johanna that no one was home and we should leave. Well, Johanna's been around the block once or twice and she suspected something was up. We waited for a minute and the aunt eventually came to the door. This is where things started to go wrong for Mogise.

The aunt was very confused as to why we were there. Johanna explained how we came to be at her house (the full story, about my buying food and the shenanigans of two weeks ago and the meeting today) and said we were as confused as she was. Mogise then had his turn, and he said he brought us there so that the aunt could explain what his house situation was, basically about the supposedly drunk sister. The aunt said she didn't know what was going on at the house and couldn't comment. She seemed a little perturbed that she was brought into the problem. Johanna quickly stood up and said we were going to the house, that she was going to see what was happening with her own eyes. And off we went.

When we got to the house, the sister had just laid down for a nap after doing spring cleaning all day. She was very sober. The brother was gone trying to find money to buy food. Johanna told her that Mogise had changed our meetings plans, which she knew nothing about. She said he hadn't been there all day and she didn't know what he was doing. Then she got into the reasons for the meeting. (I acknowledge that the following is all hearsay, but if you were there you'd believe it too).

She explained that Mogise is using tik, or methamphetamine. He deals in it as well, from their house where two small children live. He is taking the food I buy and selling it to raise money to buy his tik, and most of the cash I've given him for paraffin and electricity is also going up in smoke (literally). She said "Many days when you bring food we only eat with our eyes. We never get to eat with our mouths. We are all still hungry and our cupboard is bare." She showed me what they have, and I know from what I've brought them over the past two weeks that it should have been more. She said she has even cursed at the people who come to buy their food, asking them how they can be taking that food from a hungry family.

She was also very concerned for her brother (Mogise), as he is not well and is not getting better. He doesn't bathe, and his clothes are constantly dirty. He goes days without eating and has had diarrhea for weeks. (All of which are signs of meth use. People cannot focus on basic needs and live only to find their next fix. They have chronic malnutrition because they don't eat or just eat junk food, with poor skin and weight loss. They also tend to lose their teeth from poor hygiene and the acidic nature of the drug.) She is especially concerned because he has HIV (and probably TB) and she doesn't want him to die.

As you can guess, this was extremely disappointing, to say the least. Mogise tried to claim that the food I bought was his and not the family's, but I told him that from the first bag I bought I was supporting the household, not him. Johanna read him the riot act, too. (I didn't know until today that she is a distant cousin of the family, so she feels even more obligated and within her rights to correct the situation.) We agreed with the sister that any future assistance would be food. No more cash. We will buy the groceries and bring them to her. If they need electricity, we'll buy it and punch it in the box. If Mogise ever steals food to sell for tik again, then we will cut off any support he currently receives at the Centre. And my taxi service is closed, too. The sister was satisfied with that; Mogise was quiet.

Johanna and I are worried about the sister. She made the comment that she is the only woman in the house, and she's nervous about all the strangers coming around for drugs. Johanna is going to speak with the neighborhood leader and the local councilor (government official) to have them watch the house and contact the police if there's any trouble.

So, I have another great example that things are not always what they seem. I'm trying to evaluate the past few weeks to see what I could have done differently. I'm now thinking that I need to have a local partner for every situation I deal with and every request I get. I want to believe that people are generally act honestly and with integrity, but, sadly, that just isn't holding true. It could also be that some people here have experienced "white people" coming and just throwing money at problems with no follow-up or long-term involvement. They just expect to get the cash to use as they see fit, not thinking that the giver will ask questions or cut off the support if it's not spent wisely. Johanna told me a while back that she doesn't think Mogise ever expects me to say no and he's taking advantage. Well, now he knows better.

More to come.