Living in Survival Mode

As you may have read previously, I've been helping a man named Mogise and his family with food and other necessities. It started small, a few groceries here, some paraffin there. Every week, though, it's been escalating to a point where I was spending close to R500 a week on various things. It also grew into an entitlement program of sorts - the past two Sundays he just showed up after church expecting to go to the store and then get a ride home. He shows up at the Centre in the afternoons expecting to get food to take home, and a free ride in my car. The most difficult thing for me is that what he gets is never enough. If I spend R400 for groceries, then he needs R100 for electricity. If it's money for electricity, then he needs transport money. Last week it was money for a haircut (actually, he wanted a clippers), to which I said no.

And the groceries he got were over the top. Because the first couple times I let him pick the items, that became the routine. It ended up being sausages and lamb chops, sweets and custard, peanut butter and jam. Everyone else who gets food aid gets staples: samp, mealie meal, rice, flour, sugar, tea, soup mix, things like that. I felt uncomfortable calling him out in the middle of the store, so I let it go. Big mistake on my part.

Things hit a high (or low) point this past Tuesday. I was working at the clinic and he called me on my cell phone at about 10:30. "I'm at the robots [stop lights, about a half-mile from his house]. You have to come and get me." It wasn't a request, it was a demand. I told him I was at the clinic and couldn't leave. He hung up on me, and I went back to work. About 20 minutes later I got another call. "I'm outside the [Centre] gate, come out and get me." Again, I told him I couldn't leave. "Plus," I said, "I won't be at the Centre until later this afternoon. Why did you come this morning?" He said something I couldn't understand. I told him I would stop by his house later in the day. "Then you can bring me my plate [of food]," he said. I said no, I wouldn't be at the Centre. Again, he hung up.

Well, it was a slow day at the clinic and I got out earlier than expected. I did go to the Centre first and sure enough, he was there to get his food. I sat down with him and explained that what he did that morning was not appropriate. I told him I was not a personal taxi service, and if he needed a ride to get his food he needed to arrange his own taxi or other transport. I also told him that he should be eating his daily meal at the Centre, since the rules were that no food leave the premises. He nodded that he understood (he speaks English pretty well, so I'm sure he did) and we left it at that.

Then, I told him that I was worried about how dependent he was on me for food, since I wouldn't be around forever and he needed a broader support network. I also said the amount I was spending was getting high, especially because I was supporting several other people. I told him that he has to take some responsibility for finding other support, including a government grant. (If his CD4 count is below 200, he may qualify for a disability grant. He hadn't been tested to see what his count was, even though he promised to do that before.) Again, he nodded that he understood and he left.

I decided I needed help. Mogise has told me before that he'd been visited by one of the Stellenbosch University social work students who come to Centre for practical experience. I spoke with the woman who works with these students (Johanna) and arranged a meeting for last Friday. I also told Mogise to come. I met with the student (Josias) and Mogise for a few minutes, reiterating what I had told Mogise on Tuesday. Then Josias sent Mogise away and we chatted for a few minutes. Josias said he was fully supportive of my position, that Mogise should be living in survival mode right now and trying to maximize whatever he gets. He told me a little more about the family's history, which helped explain some of the problem. Apparently, Mogise's family had been fairly well off when his parents were alive. Since both of them died, the family has fallen on hard times. His sister lost her job, which took away their only full-time paycheck. His brother only works three days a week and doesn't earn much. A cousin who lives with them used to work at McDonalds but his contract expired and he was let go. So, they went quickly from a life of relative luxury to one of poverty. They are just now learning what it means to live from hand to mouth, and that's why Mogise is struggling.

After we met, Josias, Mogise and Johanna sat down to develop a plan. I had told Josias that I could sustain R200 a week for Mogise, so they created a food plan inside that amount. It has all of the protein and carbs they'll need, and it will be supplemented with free vegetables from a local church. Then, to cement the plan and make sure R200 was sufficient, Johanna, Mogise and I went to the store.

As we walked the aisles, Mogise was clearly unhappy. We picked only those items on our list, plus a couple small add-ons. Mogise asked about a cake once, and anchovie paste another time, but I held firm to the plan. Johanna had to set him right a couple times - I know just enough Xhosa to know she wasn't happy and told him how things were to be going forward. The bill came to R189, so I know we can make it work for the long term.

When we got home, Johanna had a long talk with Mogise's sister. She explained what we bought and why, and how there was going to be a limit on what they would get in the future. The sister didn't seem to have any problem with it and understood why things had to change. We also ran into Mogise's brother as we were leaving, and he was very appreciative, as well. We made an extra run to top up the electricity account, and then Johanna and I left. Well, not before Mogise asked for more money to come to church on Sunday. I told him no, that he should arrange his own transport, and so did Johanna.

We both felt good about what happened. I can now help two people for what I was spending on just him, and Johanna knows that he will get some sustained assistance. Johanna said that she thinks Mogise was trying to hold the seat of power in the house by bringing in money and food. Part of the reason he's upset, she said, is that he may lose some standing with his siblings. I can't help that, and his better standing won't help them survive any better in any case.

We'll see what happens this week when he and I are alone again. And, he didn't come to church today.

More to come.