An Expensive Day

I've now been here long enough that people looking for help (money) are coming to see me at the Centre. Here are three examples, all of which happened Tuesday/Wednesday this week:

1. Ntozama's mother
Ntozama is the proper name of the woman who passed away this past weekend (the one I took to the day hospital about 10 days ago). I knew she came from a very poor family, but didn't realize how poor until her mother called to ask for a meeting with me. I met with her after I finished at the clinic. She said she was struggling to pay for the funeral, to be held on Sunday. (She picked Sunday to avoid "competing" with another funeral down the street that's being held Saturday.) The undertaker is willing to do the whole job for R4500. Unfortunately, the mother only has R1000. Her ex-husband (Ntozama'a father) has nothing. Ntozama's husband was supposed to come to help but didn't show up. So, the mother was very worried about how to bury her daughter with dignity.

A look around the house confirmed the state of affairs. Ntozama slept in a room with a mattress on the floor. That's it. The lounge (living room) had maybe two chairs and a TV. All of the walls were bare and the rugs threadbare, where there were rugs. They had one paraffin (kerosene) stove for heat and cooking.

After checking my finances, I offered to contribute R5000 to the cause. The look of joy I received in return was enough payment for it. The mother can now have a proper service and lunch, just like she wanted. Everything will done at the house to keep expenses down - she has a very small house, so I'm not sure what kind of crowd there will be. Members of the HIV support group will be there, so it should be a good turnout. The mother received a pail of paint from a neighbor, so she had a couple men busy painting the lounge and front of the house to make it look clean.

2. A woman traveller
A woman Yvonne knows came to the Centre yesterday morning to see me. We went to see her late in the afternoon. She is very poor, living in a shack behind a house just a few blocks from the Centre. She buried her brother-in-law three months ago and spent quite a sum to help the family. Then, last month her brother died from HIV-related disease in the Eastern Cape. She very much wanted to go to the funeral but could not afford transportation. A round-trip bus ticket would cost R600, and she would need some extra money for incidentals and clothes.

I offered to loan her R1000 so she could attend the funeral. She insisted it is a loan and that she will pay me back in time. I gave her the money today, and she is excited to be able to go.

(I've given several "loans" since I've been here. I have yet to be paid back for any of them. I gave myself a rule very early on in my stay: Never give anyone anything you can't afford to lose. So far it's been a good rule to follow.)

3. Mogise
Mogise, who calls himself Gladstone, is a 28 year-old man living in Crossroads. He became HIV-positive in 2001. He is the oldest in his family; both parents have passed away. He lives with 5 other family members, one of whom has a baby. No one is working, except for a rare day job as a labourer. As the oldest, everyone looks up to Mogise for food, heat, and other necessities of daily living.

I met Mogise in church about 3 weeks ago. He was brought there by a couple members of the support group. Initially, I was only asked to provide transportation to the support group meetings (he cannot afford the R8 needed for a cockroach taxi). After we talked a couple times, he got brave and asked me to help buy some electricity. Then it was some money for paraffin. Yesterday, he bit big and asked for some groceries to cover the 4 days until his sister gets the child-care grant for the baby (R200). So, Tuesday we went to the grocery store and I bought R265 worth of assorted groceries. I also gave him R100 for more electricity and transport.

To try and find some long-term help for him, I set up a meeting with our social worker for today. After she and he got their plans sorted out, Mogise asked if I could take him to buy a blanket. So, back to the store we went. After that, and buying some vegetables from a stand outside the store, I took Mogise back home. He invited me inside to show how dire his situation is. He normally sleeps in a shack outside the house, but roof was lost in the last windstorm. Now he's sleeping in a room in the back of the house, one that leaks wind and rain. He had one blanket on his bed, no sheets or pillows. His house was also very bare and quiet, considering the number of people who live there.

(I had another interesting experience at the market. First, you need to understand where we were. Nyanga Junction is a shopping area above a busy train station, the main station for rides into Cape Town. It's a quasi-strip mall with a number of small, independent shops with a couple chain stores mixed in. It's a very busy place, right in the heart of Guguletu and near to Nyanga. It's very unusual to see a white person there - I could have been the first one there this month. Anyway, as I was standing at the vegetable stand waiting for Mogise, one of the youth leaders from JL Zwane came up to me and asked me what I was doing there and if I was alone. The look on her face showed she was very concerned, bordering on fear. I pointed to Mogise, and she relaxed. I appreciated her concern and attention and will thank her on Sunday. It also told me that I need to be very careful if I ever go back there.)

The long and short of these examples is that there are lots of ways to help people, but also lots of ways to get pulled deep into difficult situations. As long as I follow my own rules I will be okay.

Two other things:
1. Rosie update: Rosie is looking much better. She's alert and smiling, even more than this past weekend. She can now sit up and is trying to use her crutches. Unfortunately, she's had a setback with her TB medications. She had an episode of drug-induced hepatitis, so all of her medications had to be stopped. The doctors are going to transfer to a rehab unit in a different hospital so that they can slowly restart the medications and get her stabilized again. I'd hate for her to go backwards and be so ill again - I don't think she'd survive it.

I'm really hoping she can be home within the next couple weeks. She misses her family a lot, and she's lost a lot of weight because she won't eat the hospital food. I'll bet she's down at least 20 pounds from when she was admitted 3 weeks ago. At home she can get good, basic food and quickly regain some weight.

2. My "wish I had a camera" moment this week happened on Tuesday morning. I happened to be driving by the commuter railroad tracks at the right time and saw a fully loaded train go by. And I mean fully loaded. There were guys hanging out of the doorways, standing between cars, and even riding on the roof. It reminded me of pictures of India's trains. I know that train surfing (literally standing up on top of the cars, dodging obstacles) is big in Soweto, but I didn't expect to see it here.

More to come.