Funeral Day

Saturdays are traditionally when funerals are held in Guguletu. During the past couple years, because of the increased death rate, you'll also see funerals during weekdays, too, but the majority are still held on Saturday. It's a lengthy affair, but not all that much longer than American Christian funerals I've been to (if you add all of the time together).

One difference between American and Guguletu funerals is that multiple people are handled at one time. Today there were three people being celebrated. So, during the 90 minute service there were songs, eulogies for all three people, more songs (with lots of swaying), a sermon and final hymns. Rev. Spiwo gave today's sermon, based on verses from Revelations 21. The main thrust of his sermon was about looking to the future. He said that "people are a complex of memories of the past, realities of the present, and expectations of the future." He told of his own life and how he battled with his mother about going to graduate school in Scotland. She told him of the hardship it would be on the family and said that he should not go. He told her he needed to look beyond the here and now and live for what could be. He told the attendees that they all need to do the same, and help their children realize their dreams. There were many shouts of agreement, although I couldn't help but think about how truly difficult this would be for many of them.

After the service, Sisi Yvonne and I headed for the cemetary. (I still have to get pictures and will do that soon.) I now realize that when I attend things with Rev. Spiwo or Sisi Yvonne that I'm not just an observer, I'm a participant. I was placed with the clergy at the gravesite, got to throw dirt on the casket, and did my best to sing the songs (not knowing the words or the melody). Everything is completed while the mourners are there, including filling in the grave. Several men from the crowd pitched in and shoveled the sand. A simple wooden cross was the only marker. After everything broke up the clergy gathered as a group and asked me to pray for them. This was my scariest moment yet, leading a group prayer for people who did that for a living. They talked to me afterwards so it must have been okay.

After the burial, everyone goes for lunch at the home of the deceased person's family. It wasn't like sitting in a church basement - people sat outside under a tent or stood in the street. (You can easily tell when someone died if you see a tent/tarp attached to a house on Friday afternoon or Saturday morning.) I got to sit at the clergy table. No one from the family was circulating. They sat in a room away from the guests. They will mourn throughout this week and have a follow-up gathering next Saturday, at which point the funeral process is over.

All told, the process took about 3 1/2 hours. Again, not too dissimilar to other funerals I've been to.

Sadly and unexpectedly, the day also ended with a death. Zinzi, the 19-year-old woman who was helping with the girls' empowerment group, received a call that her 45-year-old mother had died this afternoon. She had been ill for some time and developed a chest infection with breathing trouble this morning. She was taken to hospital and died shortly after arriving. Zinzi was at JL Zwane with me and Sisi Yvonne selling items to raise money for a special breakfast tomorrow (more on that tomorrow). I was sitting in Rev. Spiwo's office when a call came in asking him to tell Zinzi about her mother, as the other family members nor the hospital staff wanted to do it. Before he could do anything about it she came into the office crying - she had gotten a call from her cousin with the news. It was a tense few minutes as she and Spiwo talked and Yvonne and I consoled her. Yvonne and I then drove her home. We sat with her family for about 15 minutes (actually, I sat with the family while Yvonne was in another room with some people. I sipped a glass of orange soda while the 5 women present talked around me until Yvonne came back) and then headed back to the centre.

I will probably have another funeral experience next weekend.